11. The Importance of Telling Your Own Story Well
Your story is a superpower. Here's how to tell your story in a powerful new way
Which of these awesome individuals would you hire for your head of marketing role?
A former journalist turned startup marketer who loves building remote teams and scaling young companies
A brand marketing executive with over 15 years of experience in early-stage tech companies, building iconic brands and scaling revenue through product-led growth
Trick question! To paraphrase Taylor Swift: “It’s me, hi, I’m both of them, it’s me.”
I am the former journalist and the marketing executive. I am also-also a friend, a father, a partner, a son, a brother, a published author, a chili cookoff champion, a Minesweeper record holder, and an American Idol phone-in voter. I contain multitudes. Which one of my multitudes do I choose to share at any given point in time?
Talking about ourselves seems like it should be straightforward, yet there are so many different contexts nowadays that make our personal story really hard to pin down. The story we tell about ourselves at a party might be different from the story we tell to a job recruiter. (Unless we party with a lot of recruiters.)
The stories we tell about ourselves matter.
They matter when it comes to how we position ourselves for our next big move in our career or in life. And they matter when it comes to speaking our truth about who we are and how we fit into the world, either the world at work or in life. All these contexts are SUPER important and valuable, which makes our job of storytelling all the more critical.
Personal storytelling is not about fabricating a reality in order to get what you want. We’re not peddling fiction. We’re finding the through-lines that tie together elements of your life in order to create a concise, relevant, unique, and uniquely YOU story.
Like most things, this is easier said than done. We are storytellers and creatives at heart, but we’re often conditioned to care for ourselves last, to water-down stories to fit others’ narratives, or to believe that our unique stories matter less than the status quo. I like this quote from Verlyn Klinkenborg, a member of the editorial board at The New York Times and author of Several Short Sentences About Writing, which I return to often when I need “permission” to stick to my story. The quote is about writing but could just as easily be about personal stories:
“Most people have been taught that what they notice doesn’t matter,
So they never learn how to notice,
Not even what interests them.
Or they assume that the world has been completely pre-noticed,
Already sifted and sorted and categorized
By everyone else, by people with real authority.
And so they write about pre-authorized subjects in pre-authorized language …
Everything you notice is important.
Let me say that a different way: If you notice something, it’s because it’s important.”
Everything about you is important – and interesting. Therefore it simply becomes an exercise in finding what important and interesting elements about you are the ones to share. Here are some ideas and encouragement on how to do just that.
Why personal storytelling matters
In a business context, personal storytelling can help you get that new job or land that big client. It can help you stand out in a crowded job market or differentiate your personal brand from the thousands of others that are clamoring for attention in our social feeds and inboxes (thank you for reading our newsletter, btw!).
And even beyond the business value, there is incredible power for you personally when it comes to storytelling. Best-selling author and relationship therapist Esther Perel outlines the importance in this quote:
“While we’re not in control of how life unfolds, we do have agency over how we structure and interpret it. Creating new stories can liberate us from defeating narratives, predetermined thinking, and forgone conclusions. It’s not about letting go of what has led us to this moment, it’s about writing new chapters for change.”
With new chapters for change, we get the opportunity to craft stories that place us in a position to ask for the jobs, the influence, the next steps that will make us feel fulfilled. This is similar to the Japanese concept of ikigai, which loosely translates to “reason for being.” Ikigai asks you to reflect on four criteria:
What you love
What you’re good at
What you can be paid for
What the world needs
If you’re able to find a path where all four criteria intersect, then you’ve found your ikigai.
How to craft a personal positioning statement
Through our first months at Bonfire, we’ve been fortunate to get to work with a variety of folks who are processing their personal stories as it relates to who they are at work. This typically takes the form of:
Freelancers and consultants who want to be known for a specific skill or talent that the market values
In-house marketers who want to position themselves for more influence within their company
In-house marketers who want to position themselves for their next job opportunity
Thought leaders who want to refine their main talking points
All of these require a bit of work with personal positioning.
Personal positioning is not unlike product positioning or brand positioning. Product positioning is the rational justification and classification of your product or service. Brand positioning is the emotional aim for how people should feel when they engage with your company. Personal positioning is a statement of what makes you uniquely you and the value that you can provide to the world.
The output of all these positioning exercises – product, brand, and personal – can often be similar. For example, here is the output of a product positioning statement:
For (target customer)
Who (statement of need or opportunity),
(Product name) is a (product category)
That (statement of key benefit).
Unlike (competing alternative)
(Product name) (statement of primary differentiation).
Personal positioning is a similar fill-in-the-blanks exercise with an output that can look like this:
I offer [value proposition]
For [desired community] who are looking to [impact you want to have]
By/with/through [differentiator(s)].
When coming up with a personal positioning statement, we often will guide people through a handful of questions and reflections to help set the stage for the fill-in-the-blanks template above. If this type of exercise sounds valuable to you, feel free to grab a copy of our personal positioning worksheet here. And let us know what you come up with!
Example personal positioning statements
Here are some examples that can help you wrap your mind around how these positioning statements might look in practice.
I offer PR and communication advising
With a focus on thought leadership
For early-stage startups who are looking to build a PR/comms platform from scratch
I offer customer research workshops
Through primarily low-cost and word-of-mouth channels
For climate-tech startups who are looking to launch new products to market in order to combat one of humanity’s greatest challenges
I offer brand style guides and visual identity work
By embracing lo-fi, hand-drawn aesthetic styles
To local small businesses who are looking to refresh their brands so that they can be more successful and do more of what they love
I offer content marketing services
With a focus on key narratives and SEO
For non-profits who are looking to build longform content so they can reach new audiences and expand their impact
What do you do with this positioning statement when you’re done?
It all depends on where you’re at in life and in your career. As mentioned above, we find that there are a few circumstances where this type of exercise becomes especially helpful.
Freelancers and consultants who want to be known for a specific skill or talent that the market values
In-house marketers who want to position themselves for more influence within their company
In-house marketers who want to position themselves for their next job opportunity
Thought leaders who want to refine their main talking points
We’ll often see people end up with two or three versions of their positioning statement. This can be useful as a starting point for further testing and experimenting with what works and what doesn’t. For instance, when you have a few positioning statements, you can try out different statements on different calls with recruiters and listen for which ones get which recruiters to perk up. Or, you can take your different positioning statements for your consulting business and test on your LinkedIn headline or your newsletter bio or your next webinar appearance.
Test and learn, refine, and just make sure that you’re sticking close to the heart of your story.
Your personal story matters more than you know
Knowing yourself, knowing what you’re great at and what you’re working on, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, especially when you’re living life and working with people who can be rather prescriptive about you and the world. This is particularly true of the tech industry, though I imagine it is true in many, many places. I have been part of conversations where I am told things about myself that are untrue, unfair, and/or unjustified. It hurts to hear. It’s hard to separate fact from fiction, especially when people in authority are the ones doing the storytelling. This is why it’s so important to know your story and to know what is true for you.
For instance, I can be told I am bad at traditional sales-led marketing tactics. This may be someone else’s perception of me and my skills for whatever reason – my marketing doesn’t look like their marketing, I had a bad day at the office, marketing tactics are hard to objectively measure especially by people who don’t measure them for a living. I can be told I’m bad at any number of things, but I can remind myself that other people don’t get to tell my story. I am actually really good at many things, and I have dozens of proof points that I can look to for reassurance.
The stories we tell about ourselves matter.
They matter when we’re looking for new jobs or making new connections.
They matter when we’re standing our ground.
They matter in the big picture and the small picture.
“Everything you notice is important.”
Every story you create matters.
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Loved this! Inspiring + actionable.
Best post I’ve read on this subject, sent it to a couple people. Bravo !