15. Exercises for Looking Back, Looking Inward, and Looking Ahead
The best 10 minutes you'll spend all year
The last week of the year is predictably, lovably quiet.
We are mostly off the clock at Bonfire. We’re checking the occasional email. (Feel free to get in touch if you want; we’d love to know your favorite TikToks of 2023.) But most other work can wait for the new year.
Except, of course, for reflections.
Now is the perfect time of year to look back, take stock, look ahead, make plans—and remember how to come back to the present moment. In between our Bonfire inbox peeping, we are using the remaining days of 2023 to reflect together about the past year.
We thought we’d share some of these reflection exercises with you, in case you want to try one out for yourself.
Here are five of our favorite year-end reflections and creative prompts.
1. Learning from mistakes
Adapted from an exercise in Idealist, to reflect on a mistake, ask yourself:
From the perspective of other people involved, what happened here? How might I have been perceived by those people?
What will I do differently next time? Whose help do I need to make that happen?
With whom do I need to share my learning in order to maintain strong relationships in the future?
It may also be helpful to ask yourself whether or not there are any mistakes that you’re holding on to. Do you need to hold on to the regret, guilt, or shame around that mistake? Is it serving you? What benefit is holding on to a mistake bringing to yourself and others? (Probably not much!)
2. Examen of Consciousness
This reflection exercise comes from the Ignatian church tradition and is intended to be used on a daily basis. We’ve pulled out some favorite questions and re-phrased them to work in the context of a yearly lookback.
Have I been a good memory in anyone’s life this year?
What do I know, but live as though I do not know?
Have I been blind or deaf to the blessings of this year?
Is there anyone, including myself, whom I need to forgive?
When did I experience my heart opening wide this year?
Have I worked with joy or drudgery?
Have I waited with grace or with impatience?
What is the one thing in my life that is standing on tiptoe crying, “May I have your attention please?” What needs my attention?
3. Four simple statements
Bob Koski, the founder of Sun Hydraulics, uses these four simple statements for his yearly check-ins with teammates. They are a great template for a more humane performance review, but they also work as an end-of-year reflection.
State an admirable feature about the employee (or your teammate, or yourself).
Ask what contributions they have made to the business (or in life in general).
Ask what contributions they would like to make to the business (or in life).
Ask how the business can help them (or identify what help you need).
4. Lauds and learnings
A useful "self-review" format. When used in a review context on the job, the teammate answers these questions and leads the conversation with their manager by sharing their answers. The manager can also reflect on the questions beforehand and add anything that the teammate might not mention. If you’re doing this exercise solo, just skip the manager parts and focus on answering the questions yourself.
What has gone really well this year that we might celebrate?
What did you learn in the process?
What didn't go as well or might have been done differently?
How do we "take stock" of where things are now compared to where we thought they might be?
What are you most excited about in this next year? What concerns you most?
What changes, if any, would you suggest in your role?
When you think about the year ahead, what specific goals will guide you?
5. Making room for mindfulness
Often our emotional suffering involves ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. A reflection question that can help ground you in the present moment is to simply ask, “What’s wrong right now?”
No, literally: Right exactly now in this precise moment in time, is anything wrong? Right now, is there an emergency? Now. Is there an immediate crisis? (Probably not, if you’re reading an email.) You might be surprised how often the answer to this question is that in this moment—the only moment we actually have—everything is good.
We’ll see you in 2024. Happy New Year, and kumbaya, everyone!
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